Dear Readers
I want to thank you for your patience during my recent silence. Life, as we all know, has a way of pulling us away from the things we love, and over the past few months, I’ve found myself navigating one of the most exciting chapters yet: I am expecting a baby this June. The excitement of this new beginning has been both exhilarating and exhausting. Through the chaos and celebration of this news, I realized my blog had to take a back seat. I am back today because I want to share my thoughts on how this journey has unfolded thus far. So let us get right into the anxiety, joy, chaos, and beauty of pregnancy.
In October of 2025, I found out I was pregnant. The excitement was so real, I imagined I’d document every moment, take thousands of photos, and write about the transformation of becoming a mother. But almost immediately, my mental health took a different course. First, it was crippling anxiety, the type of anxiety where even your best coping skills seem to be useless. I had this fear of growing a tiny human, being responsible for another life when it felt like I barely had my own together. This was the anxiety that is so physically and mentally draining that you feel like you could sleep for a million years. As pregnancy progressed, the anxiety eased a bit as I got comfortable with the idea of growing a little life.
I thought that when the anxiety became more manageable, I would get back to business as usual, but this is when the next bout of mental health crept in. The isolation and disconnection appeared slowly but made themselves known. I often felt alone even in a room full of people. I pasted on my smile and excitement for everyone around me who could not stop talking about babies, nurseries, names, and genders. In private, I struggle,d spending countless hours sleeping, lying down, and disconnecting from the world around me. Over time, these feelings have eased up, but I still have my days when I just feel disconnected from myself and others. Now this is where the last battle I have been facing rears its ugly head.
The hardest feeling I have had to deal with is guilt. Plain and simple guilt, it is that heavy cloud in your head or that sick feeling in your gut like you did something wrong. I have found myself feeling this guilt recently. Pregnancy didn’t make me feel strong. It made me feel anxious and unsure of myself. I convinced myself I was failing because I did not carry everything as well as others. I felt guilty for not being happy all the time, for feeling like I was losing myself and being unmotivated. I am still battling this one today, but I have to remind myself that, regardless of all the highs and lows, my feelings are valid.
Navigating mental health challenges can feel too heavy, but you’re not alone. What you’re feeling is valid. Your experience is real. And you deserve support, understanding, and compassion. Take time for yourself, talk to someone, or reach out to those around you who can offer support.
I'm not yet clear on the next few months for this blog or on its future, but I intend to continue blogging, especially as I enter parenthood, and I know chaos sometimes takes over. Thank you for staying with me; your support means the world as I step into this next adventure.
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